"He put water colored roses in her hair"
21:31 & 18.08.02
It really bothers me that I don't feel really relaxed and safe with Craig. We are fine in periods and then he says something that puts a claw around my heart.
Today he said (or repeated) that he doesn't like me when I am vulnerable. I asked him (again?) why he wants to be my boyfriend if he dislikes me 50% of the time, perhaps 30% now. - And he said because I am not always vulnerable.
I am a little tired of pleasing him all the time. When I feel he doesn't do the same to please me back. - Or perhaps I am so blind that I don't see that he makes an effort too.
Why does he want to be with me, if he dislikes me so much (30% of me is a lot)? It bothers me that I am never good enough.
Why do I end up in these relationships where we try and try, and we don't really fit. Is that the case this time as well?
We sort of agreed that I would come and see ["move in"] him in January, and I can't say with my hand on my heart that I really want to do that. Either he has to take me as I am, because I am sensitive sometimes.