"To move on or not"
20:43 & 20.06.02
He tells me to change constantly. Perhaps I do that too. It distroys my self confidence, and I become so sore and naked without it. He says that I have to decide whether this is something I really want to do or not. And on the other hand he says I should just wait and see what happens. How can I do both?
I am going to call my host family tonight and ask what they are doing in July... If we can't talk before the 10th I don't want to see him. I don't look forward to it anymore. I am hurt and sad, and... this doesn't feel right, at least not like it is now.
I'll give him these days with silence, like he asked me to, but I can't move on if we don't talk.