"So now there´s nothing I can do for you"
17:31 & 27.04.02
I can't seem to concentrate. Ylva left hours ago. I should too. [Bjørge is upset with us, because we haven't managed to find time to party yet].
I love the bus rides from work when I can gaze out the windows and think about random things.
I am not upset about the telephone thing anymore. I try to think that I somehow probably misunderstood what he tried to tell me. I don't want to make him feel bad and I don't want to be upset all the time. I can't wait to be with him, kiss him and touch him. I told him last night that it felt like the next thing he would say would be that he didn't like touching me so much.
Actually, I think I said that to Michael once. That really hurt him. I just felt like there was either no space between us or he was furthest away from me. There was nothing in between. But that was then. I don't really want to think about him any more.
It's different with Craig. I can't get close enough to him. The times I met him I wanted him to touch me more, to kiss me more to...
I can not really picture Anniken as a prostitute (at least not dead). I know she was doing drugs. I read the newspaper the other day and they included a picture of her in the blue plastic "bag"/winding sheet (made my stomach make a turn). At my old school there is a hall way with class pictures. So many are gone. She was so pretty, Anniken. I remember the last time I babysat for her son as it was yesterday. I remember I had a crush on Bjørnar and that we talked about Led Zeppelin (he was impressed). I can see her before me talking about the psychic she used to call. With a smoke in her hand, dressed all in black, making gestures as she spoke.