"Follow every rainbow"
17:04 & 18.04.02
I just feel like pouring out my thoughts a little bit.
It's "only" four days until I get to talk with Craig again. I wonder how those seven months will be like. - If I'll get to keep in touch with him. If not, I don't know if I'll manage it. I mean, I probably would, but it would be really hard. Seven months is more than a half year. But I really do not want to take the future in advance. I haven't even visited him yet.
I feel kind of bad, for letting this guy (Lars) like me. You know, want me like more than a friend. But he knows about Craig, so I shouldn't feel bad. I have no that kind of interest in him.
I've been thinking a lot, and I guess that pouring out my silly thoughts here is better than saying them out loud. Or perhaps I have already. Like, if I get married. I would like my man to wear a ring as well, I don't care so much for the dress or flowers or anything like that, but the ring is to me a special symbol. If the guy (here: Craig) doesn't want to wear one, why should I?
Second, he (Craig) always mention that guys only want to get in a girls pants (when I talk about my male friends) and... he has a lot of female friends. I don't like thinking about it, but if he's not joking, then he must think the same way about girls. That's kind of disrespecting. -Both to me and those girls.
No more period. I thought I'd keep track of it here so I would find out if there's a reason to see the doctor or not. I hope this was it, and that it won't come back in two days and last for weeks.
My stomach is really upset these days.
Marie has become super - skinny. I didn't notice before a couple of days ago. It bothers me. She's about 1.70 m tall and 50 kg's. That's being underweight. (I have a lot of eating - disorder friends). I have lost weight too, but I eat "normal". I loose weight places you don't really want to loose weight, like on your chest (no boobs) and on my back. I hadn't closed the curtains properly yesterday - when I went to bed - and I saw myself in the "mirror"/window, and you can count my ribs. I wish I didn't loose weight there, but on my butt, thighs. Some place where I actually have excess fat. Not where I don't.